How Far Will You Go to Fit In?

Humans have an innate need to belong and fit in. So we adopt the world’s constantly shifting trends to feel like we are a part of family systems, social groups, workplace communities and societal trends. How far will you go to fit in? And what would happen if you were to take a different approach? This article explores midlife as a season that highlights the difference between who you are at the core, alongside the social masks you wear to feel a sense of belonging.

The risk of blindly following cultural trends is that you lose your beautiful innate traits. At a deeper level, you lose track of the distinct ways you’re shaped to contribute to the world in your own unique way.

Now if the foot should say, “because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body”, it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the entire body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? But in fact, God placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. If they were all one part, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, but one body.

1 CORINTHIANS 12:15-19

What Makes You Unique?

What characteristics, interests, passions, quirky traits, and abilities set you apart from others?

‘For we are His workmanship, [His own master work, a work of art], created in Christ Jesus [reborn from above- spiritually transformed, renewed, ready to be used] for good works, which God prepared [for us] beforehand [taking paths which He set], so that we would walk in them [living the good life which He prearranged and made ready for us]

EPHESIANS 2:10 AMP

I love meeting people who have uncovered and developed their unique skills and passions. They harness these elements to live meaningful and purposeful lives. They demonstrate four common characteristic traits:

1. Their conversations revolve around their passion.

2. They go the extra mile in their jobs and are fully invested in what they do.

3. They’re informed about their industry and enjoy what they do.

4. They are intentional about creating a healthy work-life balance.

We are all innately equipped with spiritual gifts and abilities unique to us. You may be a skilful musician, draft beautiful poems, or draw breathtaking landscapes. You may be an exceptional cook, baker, or florist. Likewise, you might be a whiz at budgeting, organizing events, and interior décor. You might be good at athletics or other sport. In other words, there are things you are naturally good at that are harder for others, and vice versa.

Are you unsure about how you are uniquely shaped? You’re not alone.

I spent years and endless hours seeking to uncover a deeper sense of purpose. I examined my introverted personality, interests, passions, and acquired skills. At the same time, I explored ways to harness these to enjoy a fulfilling life and contribute to the world in meaningful ways.

In this poem, May Sarton beautifully captures the freedom waiting for us after we filter through the many identities our environments aim to impose on us.

Oscar Wilde wrote: ‘Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken’.

Who are you when no one else is watching? What unique, quirky character or personality traits do you have that you hide from the world because you think it’s not popular or acceptable?

If you need more help uncovering your true self, take a sneak peak at The Midlife Roadmap. It’s a flexible, self-paced digital course that integrates personal story, podcast lessons, reflective journaling and fun, creative activities to help you uncover and embrace your authentic self.

Until next time, travel gently on your life journey.