I think of it as internalised and external voices that impact our identity and how we show up in the world. The voices we choose to listen to can set us on a course for our future. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Without knowing yourself well enough and knowing which voices to trust, can lead to ambiguity, low self-esteem, fear, and insecurity, as well as a consuming need to prove your worth.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n At my 2021 graduation ceremony,<\/a> I briefly shared a bit of my personal story, and the filtering I needed to do having grown up in a marginalised community in South Africa. I needed to re-evaluate and reframe my life choices, beliefs, and worldviews that impacted my self-identity (see extract below).<\/p>\n\n\n\n Five years ago, I pursued a Bachelor of Applied Social Science<\/a> degree because I wanted to know what makes us, as humans, tick. Why do we behave the way we do <\/strong>and how can we build healthy, thriving relationships? <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Before I enrolled for the course, I wrestled with several questions about studying later in life<\/strong>, because I was approaching midlife, and juggled family, and work among other roles. <\/p>\n\n\n\n At a deeper level, I was unsure how I would apply a psychology degree in a future career context because of my social background and the limiting beliefs I held about my social identity<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n When thinking of the nature versus nurture debate, and the many social ills that flowed from the sombre social history of South Africa, I formed an early belief that I wasn’t good enough as a human being. That belief caused me to play safe, stay small and be compliant. I was afraid to try new things, or fully develop my God-given life and use my voice, as I am today.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Using the tools gained on the academic learning journey, along with external support, I grappled through these questions. I soon realised that of the many voices scrambling to impose an identity on you, the voices you choose to listen to will set you on a course for the future<\/strong>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n I ended the 5-year learning journey with a clearer understanding of where I fit into this world and how to live a meaningful life.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Today, I apply my spiritual and creative skills, introverted personality strengths, and lessons gained through life experiences, to live a meaningful and purposeful life.<\/p>glynis klein<\/cite><\/blockquote><\/figure>\n\n\n\n I share my story to demonstrate the importance of filtering the influences over your life. A deeper self-awareness will help you sift through external and internalised voices to clearly heed the values, and beliefs, aligned with your innate identity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n In the extract below, Parker J. Palmer describes four selves vying for dominance in your life. As you read the descriptions, can you identify the self that currently takes centre stage in your life?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n The figure calling me all those years was, I believe, what Thomas Merton calls “true self<\/strong>“. <\/p>\n\n\n\n It’s not the ego self <\/strong>that wants to inflate us (or deflate us, another form of distortion), <\/p>\n\n\n\n It’s not the intellectual self<\/strong> that wants to hover above the mess of life in clear but ungrounded ideas, <\/p>\n\n\n\n It’s not the ethical self<\/strong> that wants to live by some abstract moral code. <\/p>\n\n\n\n It’s the self, planted in us by the God<\/strong> who made us in God’s own image. The self that wants nothing more, or less, than for us to be who we were created to be.<\/p>\nParker J. Palmer (Let Your Life Speak)<\/cite><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n As events of recent years demonstrated, our environment and external influences are constantly evolving. These shifts can disrupt our inner stability. To combatting these constant changes calls for a clear grasp on what keeps us internally grounded. The better we understand what makes us tick, the better we’ll adapt to life’s inevitable shifts without losing our footing or our core selves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Being willing to uncover and embrace your true self bravely can take you on a path to meaningful and purposeful living. Frederick Buechner says it like this:<\/p>\n\n\n\n ‘The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world\u2019s deep hunger meet’. <\/strong><\/p>Frederick Buechner<\/a><\/cite><\/blockquote><\/figure>\n\n\n\n Did you find this article helpful? If so, you may enjoy my Substack, Midlife Reflections<\/a> where I share related articles and poetry to foster wholehearted, joyful living in midlife. <\/p>\n\n\n\nGraduation Speech (adapted extract)<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Four Inner Selves<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
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Embracing Your True Self<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
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